Story on Community
City: Los Angeles
I craved being understood from a new perspective.
When I moved to LA about five years ago, I was fortunate enough to have had an automatic community of people built in for me. Working at a start-up publication as a managing editor, I didn’t have time to worry about a social life, but my co-workers were my best friends. When I left the magazine and decided to do music full time, I felt like I had to recreate my life again in a way. My days looked different and, all of a sudden, it felt like everyone was coupled with kids and in a stable career (things I did not know of). After living in the city for three years, I finally felt alone.
I was immersed in this new, creative, unstable (but dreamy) world. I craved a sense of being understood from a new perspective – to not always have to explain the effects working in music can often have on one’s psyche. It sounds a bit dramatic as I write this out; I try not to be too generous with my doses of drama, but it’s true, while I had amazing women (and some men) in my life, I needed specific support.
It wasn’t until the end of last year that a handful of angels came into my life. It started with meeting Natalie (Luna Shadows) at a show I headlined. That encounter turned into meeting an additional group of four, way more experienced and lovely women I now consider an integral part of my community. These women include Alisa Xayalith (of The Naked & Famous), Chelsea Jade, Maddie North (So Below), and Kaela Sinclair (M83). Technically, what brought us together were some DMs on Twitter but, ultimately, it was music. All six of us are in a group text called “women” and somehow managed to create a bond that feels more supportive than competitive – encouraging rather than comparing. We all even live in East LA, which feels almost too good to be true. Knowing them has made me feel less alone in this endeavor that is creating music as a life.
I find value in loneliness. I don’t think I seek it to be remedied but, at that time, I knew my loneliness wasn’t serving me productively, and the desire to be a better artist was too potent to keep it all to myself. I’m grateful it has since been cultivated with community. More importantly, I’m a way better woman for it. It’s too hard to become a better woman alone.