Story on Finding Your Voice

City: Los Angeles

Industry: Design

When my well-meaning, pussy-grabbing friend reached out to me to get dinner, I knew what I needed to do.

My good friend recently moved to LA and last time I saw him, he drunkenly grabbed my vagina at a bar in NYC. I never mentioned it, but it changed the way I felt about our friendship. We haven’t talked much since.

My girl friend and I were working together last Friday night when she got an 11:00 pm FaceTime from a guy friend. After a few minutes of friendly exchange, the guy asked why he hadn’t seen her in a few weeks. She replied, “Well the last time I saw you, you grabbed my vagina.”

He was black out at the time, now completely horrified by his actions. My friend handled the situation with grit and grace.

When my well-meaning, pussy-grabbing friend reached out to me to get dinner, I knew what I needed to do. To give you some context, he is a total sweetheart and our friendship is real. We used to hike, cook, go out dancing with friends, and confide in one another. We had a genuine friendship that had been thrown off track by an incident he was completely unaware of.

Over a pickle plate at a Japanese restaurant I told him what had happened. I explained how it made me feel disrespected as a woman and a friend. He was shocked, extremely receptive, and genuinely apologetic. In his good nature, he soon turned to humor to alleviate nerves. We were both laughing and our friendship felt whole again. The next day I woke up to a heartfelt text message, thanking me for using my voice, apologizing for his actions, and reaffirming the importance of our friendship.

I am grateful for my friend using her voice because it gave me the courage to use mine.