Story on Masturbation

City: Los Angeles

Industry: Startup

I masturbate to my dreams – manifesting through masturbation.

I had a fling with a guy in college who nonchalantly put his pants on one morning as we got ready for class and said, "Do you masturbate?"

"No," I replied.

"I think you’d like having a vibrator." I gave him a look and continued getting dressed, questions running through my head. Did I orgasm too loudly? Ask for too much clitoris stimulation? As a side note we’d never had sex.

I told a few friends about this comment and, eventually, one bought me a vibrator as a joke. It sat in my bedside table for three months until one morning, hungover and bored, I gave it a whirl. I orgasmed. Then I orgasmed again, then I kept going, feeling stronger and more in my body with every release. I felt like I could conquer the world.

After that hungover Sunday, I began to integrate masturbation into my life, but it took about four years for me to really understand how to use it as a tool. At first, I tried watching heterosexual porn, but it made me feel uncomfortable. Then I tried lesbian porn, which I liked more, but still wasn't right. Using my imagination was fine, but it felt uninspiring to think about a man. Then I found my masturbation style – a style that allows me to step out of my bed every morning ready to take action on my day with more creativity fluttering around me than ever. 

I masturbate to my dreams. Manifesting through masturbation. I lay in bed after morning yoga and a shower, imagining my career goals becoming a reality, feeling what they will feel like, seeing what the life I want looks like from every angle as I press the vibrator onto my clit. Within 30 seconds to a minute I orgasm.

I don't know, maybe a woman's ability to masturbate is one of our superpowers? Either way I'm thankful for the boy who told me I might like using a vibrator, though he'll never know that.