Story on Feeling Stuck
City: Los Angeles
I spent my Sundays alone with a pack of beer and a joint, worried I had reached my peak at age 25.
While at my last job I helped create a product and grew it from just myself to a team of 80. Most of the time I worked seven days a week and didn’t have a life outside of work. Eventually, I worked to scale the team and only work five days a week. I got the department to function without me.
Eventually I was sat down and told I would be replaced by three men – pretty out of the blue.
Over the next few months, I did many one-off creative projects for the boss who had replaced me with three older men. I felt completely stuck, deeply depressed, and, honestly, hated myself for feeling inadequate and not knowing my place in the world.
I would look at jobs online but didn’t know where my experience fit and was terrified of the same thing happening again, now more aware of the meaning of the patriarchy and bureaucracy. I thought my life was over; I spent Sundays alone with a pack of beer and a joint, worried I had reached my peak at age 25.
But I started talking to people. Talking to women both inside of work and outside, and quickly learned my story was one of many. Stories helped me feel like myself again, helped me feel unstuck. They taught me the importance of perspective; that stories allow people to connect in a deeper way, which led me to find the confidence to quit my job and go off on my own, surrounding myself with people who shared a similar vision of the world.
Sometimes being stuck forces you to find new geography to walk on. I don’t know, life is complicated.