Story on Feeling Stuck
City: Los Angeles
In her lovely, grand seven-bedroom home, she chose to put me in the basement.
My family dynamic slightly mimics that of the TV show Modern Family. There are a lot of age differences, a second marriage, and overall different mindsets and morals between each of us. We love each other without a doubt but, due to a slight disconnect form the involvement of two marriages by my dad, it has never necessarily been smooth sailing.
My sister has held a grudge toward me my whole life, feeling that I was given more focus and attention growing up than she received (mind you, we are 28 years apart). My dad was a lot younger during her teenage years, and her losing her mom is a tragedy I could never even think to imagine. I had the hope that we would connect and grow to be true sisters but I soon came to realize it was far easier said than done.
Despite continuously blaming the lack of a relationship on myself, it took a lot of bickering and awkward tension for me to finally realize that the disconnect was not anything I was doing. During one visit to her home, my parents and half-brother were visiting as well. In her lovely, grand seven-bedroom home, she chose to put me in the basement where all the storage was, leaving three bedrooms upstairs vacant.
It was at that moment that I felt not only stuck physically (in a basement while everyone was enjoying themselves upstairs), but emotionally, and knew I had two choices. In the end, I decided to force myself into confrontation and pulled her aside to express my anger and that I had hit the point of feeling completely disregarded within the family. Though it was hard as could be, she took in my words and listened.
We still have our issues and my attempt to be included usually still fails but, for me, that moment and ability to force myself into an uncomfortable situation was a step in the right direction. For lack of a better word, it made me finally feel unstuck.